Ask Dr. Joy: Marriage Tips

By WEEK Producer

August 8, 2012 Updated Aug 8, 2012 at 7:26 PM CDT

Marriage Tips From Those Who Failed

Do you want to know how to keep your relationship together for the long haul? Perhaps looking at the reasons why mairrages fail is a good place to begin. Tonight we will begin a 2-part segment on the 5 things that divorced people say they would have changed.

First of all tell us a little about the study.
•Dr. Orbuch, a psychologist from Michigan’s Institute for Social Research combined the information gathered from those who learned the hard way
•The 25 year study looked at 373 couples in which 46% of the couples divorced
•The study went to look at those who re-married and what they learned from their mistakes

You mentioned 5 Lessons that Dr. Orbuck discovered. What is the first tip?
•Boost your partner. 15% of the group stated they would have done more to affirm their partner
•Affirming would include compliments, cuddling, kissing, holding hands and saying “I love you”
•Group said it was important to raise the esteem of their partner
•The study showed that men who didn’t feel love and affection or care were twice as likely to be divorced—but this factor didn’t hold true for women
•Focus on complimenting or showing appreciation to your partner each day

What is the second tip for a divorcee’s guide?
•Talk about finances and money. One of the greatest issues of couples is finances!
•49% of couples in the study said they fought about money so much that it became a huge problem in their marriage.
•Most couples said in their second marriage they would keep separate accounts and create a pooled account to minimize concerns
•The ground rules for advise is talk about money, expectations and create plans prior to marriage and stick to your decisions.

Next week we will look at the 3 other guidelines for saving marriages.

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