Ask Dr. Joy: techniques to improve our relationships

By WEEK Producer

March 13, 2013 Updated Mar 13, 2013 at 11:00 PM CDT

Tonight we are going to focus on relationships.

Unfortunately, many relationships fall apart and we know that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. So tonight and next Wednesday we will look at the REAL subtle things that can help a relationship endure and it just might surprise you.

What are some proven techniques for enhancing our relationships from a recent study?
*University of Rochester study showed that people who regularly show acts of kindness have happier marriages.
*Selfish acts aren’t just nice, they are necessary in enduring relationships.
*Being compassion enhances your partner’s closeness to you and enhances your well-being and happiness.
*Men say they put women’s needs before their own in the study ahead of women by 15 percent.
*Men say they modify their schedules for women than vice versa in the survey.

What else did the report show?
*Men are more comfortable showing love through acts vs. words.
*Showing small gestures of love can go further in a relationship than words.
*When you do acts of kindness it is important that you are not focused on the payback aspect of the gift.

What are some simple ways to show you love your partner?
*Put their needs in front of your own which is compassionate enduring love.
*Show appreciation and reach out to do a chore for the other person.
*Celebrate their victories and notice their achievements.
*Do something special, even when you are not getting along.

Next week we will continue our two-part series and look at 10 marriage “sweeteners” from the University of Rochester study.